Category Archives: Family Matters

Worry… Not.

I have just arrived home from my short trip back to KL. It was a random and last minute trip, to satisfy my cravings for food and also simply because I miss my boyfriend. Other than that I also catched up with Kel Li and Nigel. It as a good night!

Anyway, the post is more about myself. So here it goes.

I didn’t get to attend City Harvest on Sunday morning because I didn’t have transport. Usually if my sister have to serve in church on Sunday morning, I will send her to church at 7am, drive home, get ready for church and drive back for service at 10am. However, she had to leave home at 6.30am and had to fetch her friend. So I decided to sleep in and attend Kingdom City at 5pm with Pao, who overnight at my place.

Invited Josh along for service and I must say, there must be a reason why I was willing to spend so much on my flight ticket just this trip back to KL. And there also must be a reason why I felt so tired and wanting to sleep in and feel bad and go to other church that day.

The moment I stepped into Kingdom City at Luther Centre, I felt such strong presence of God. It’s been awhile since I really felt His presence. I was ministered at the point of worship already. Fast forward, Pastor Jemima spoke about a very simple message on “Building a Foundation that Lasts”. It was so simple, but it was as if she was telling me directly, “hey, this is for you!”

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You can listen to the sermon online by clicking here.

Honestly, I am a person who wants to achieve many. I wanna learn so much until sometimes people calls me a superwoman or over ambitious because I am doing so much, just to find achievement. However, when something disappoints me, I start crushing down and being negative. The best person who knows all these is my boyfriend and my sister. I can get really really really negative about everything around me and about myself and start blaming the people who are close to me for everything (i’m sorry….. 🙁 ). Other than that, I worry for every single thing on planet earth. Hence, why I try to work so hard to find enough money so I could live a comfortable life. And with all these negativity, I turned away from God.

After service, Josh told me something random.

You should be like your brother you know…
Why should I?” I asked.
Josh spoke something that made me realized one thing that I have never thought before, “I have not seen your brother getting angry. He is a person who doesn’t worry about anything. I always see him so happy despite so many failures in his life. Yet, he doesn’t give up, he still find ways to work things out.”

I remember arguing with my brother and stated all my thoughts to him. I remember him telling me, “Why worry? God will provide!
“Yes, God will provide! But with your kind of carefree attitude, not doing what you are supposed to do, playing computer games all the time, failing your studies, how do you think it will happened?“, I argued back.
O you little faith“.
The argument went on and I got so annoyed, I told him I was very upset and hurt for not being appreciated. He apologized.

I got more annoyed when I have do to so much and still don’t feel any achievement, but my brother doesn’t have to do anything but still receive so much and I always thought why  #theworldissounfair

But I got to know something this weekend. My sister shared with me something that got me thinking back on that argument I had with my brother some time ago, and that statement Josh said to me. Despite all the failures that made us all upset and embarassed most of the time, he has been SO BLESSED. I don’t wanna reveal anything yet until all is confirmed (no, he is not getting married yet lol). He is gonna be what he said of before and no one could think this will ever happen.

He trusted God.
He cast all his worries to God.
He allowed God to take control of His life.
He is ALWAYS HAPPY despite ALL the scoldings.
He is also famous…. everybody knows Abishua Tan. hahahaha

“Do not limit God”, Josh reminded me after church service.

Basically, the topic throughout my whole weekend is about being positive, being happy and worry less. Then, Josh forwarded me a quote via Whatsapp,

“Science has shown that negative emotions like stress can harm performance and cause negative side effects to the human body. Likewise, positive emotions like joy have huge impact on sleep, performance, health and recovery”.

Very true. I always fell sick, have all kinds of diseases and I visit the doctor so often like I go shopping in shopping malls.

Throughout my trip back, I was reading John Green’s “The Fault In Our Stars”. The character in this book, Hazel and Augustus both have cancer. But from the beginning to the end of the book, Hazel and Augustus lived their life to the fullest despite Hazel having to be on oxygen all the time.

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They never worry. They never blamed anyone for what they are going through. Kept me reflecting about my life. I always think it sucks, but there are other people’s life that is suckier.

A must read. This is probably one of the first time that I finished reading a book in less than a week. #achievementunlocked hahaha. Can’t wait to watch the movie though.

Learning to love and appreciate myself, my life, the people around me, my family, my leaders, my church and my beloved boyfriend. I’m glad my family and my boyfriend has been so patient on me and has yet to give up on the oh so negative daughter/sister/girlfriend.

A short trip but yet a fulfilling, fruitful and amazing one. I have found that peace once again. Learning to cast all my burdens unto Him.

If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. (Matt 6:30-34) The Message.

 

2014 Thus Far

Before I continue on with my post, here’s a shout out to my lil sister Abigail…

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HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY!
You will be forever this little in our hearts. No matter how old you are!

Ok, lets move on with my post now.

The first 4 month of 2014 has been very eventful. From the first day to this current day. Since I have not been blogging religiously, I will write about the happenings in each month.

January
This is the month where it was the toughest for me. on 10 January 2014, yeh yeh was called Home by the Lord after 2 years of battling with Pancreatic Cancer.

 photo IMG-20140119-WA0004.jpg9 November 2013 – yeh yeh’s last birthday

As I was the only close family member in Singapore other than my grandmother, I had to take be responsible for many things. From his admission to the hospital to the arrangement of his funeral to settling his insurance claims, change of names, etc. I even broke down because it was too overwhelming. Thank God for my other relatives who were kind to offer help. As a foreigner in Singapore, I do not know what were the procedures especially for the funeral. Grandma was emotionally unstable for a few awhile, but she was strong. We even managed to go back to Kuantan for Chinese New Year though she had to keep in mind of the all the pantang. 

February
Flew over to Perth for my graduation! Brought my family, grandma, grandaunt and Josh along. But sadly, mom couldn’t join us as she was busy at her kindergarten and also she’s afraid to fly.

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I was the only one among my friends from Singapore who flew down to Perth for the graduation. Too kiasu and in desperation to get my allowance quick. Haha. Well, I saw a few familiar faces though but I’m not close to them. So just smile, hi and bye.

March
My birthday month! Turned 26 this year and I can’t imagine I’ll be 30 in just 4 years time.

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Nothing much happened this month except that Josh came down for my birthday. <3 Just love having him by my side.

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and I finally own a Wacom tablet! Thanks a lot dear, really love it TTM! But I haven’t use it yet. Heh…

And, oh. I enrolled myself in another course. This time, a language course. I sucks in language. Despite going to class twice a week, I still cannot cope and also can’t speak! Forgive me… up to date, it’s only my 2nd month learning a whole new language!

I also had my Singapore PR approved! What a joy (and heartache knowing my salary will be lesser than before because of the CPF deduction)  as now I have more freedom to do more things over here in Singapore (eg. change job. HAHAHAH)

April
The busiest month yet. Been offered quite a lot of make up and face painting jobs! I would say I have earned quite a lot of side income this month. And work has been very busy too.. i would say I am financially blessed this month.

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 photo 20140330_153119copy.jpgTaken on of my make up jobs in a studio.

Sometimes I wish there are people who will help me take pictures during my make up jobs. It’s such a shame that I am not able to take much pictures during the makeover and the the outcome as most of the time there ain’t much time for me to do so.

Face painting has been quite fun too. But for a person who doesn’t draw, it can be quite challenging. There are technique and doesn’t really require one to know drawing though. As long as you master the stroking techniques,  you will be able to come out with some decent designs.

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Somehow I like this picture although my artwork on their faces are gone from the smudging and their sweat.

Since I have not posted any pictures on my face painting gigs, I shall post the past gigs here too.

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Most of the time, I won’t have time to take pictures during the gigs, hence the limited pictures. Sometimes, the whole paint smudges and the doesn’t look so nice anymore. It’s been about 6 months since I started face painting! I think it’s fun but still need to brush up on my skills.

Need to be quick (3-5 mins/design!) and neat and look pretty too. There are times I made kids look like a tribal people instead of a fairy. lol. I have the picture but for now, I shall not post it up. Too malu-fying.

That’s all for now! Til next time!

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A Shocking Pain

He complained of severe abdominal pain 3 months ago. I suspected something ain’t right when I heard him burping non stop for 1 week. I started Googling “excessive burping” and I became worried when I read one site that wrote “GI disease”.

I encouraged him to see a doctor for advise but he refused. After 3 weeks, he couldn’t take the pain anymore and then he went to see the doctor. He was scheduled for a colonoscopy. As a nurse, I asked, “why colonoscopy, when he has pain at his upper abdomen?”  Noob doctor. At least do a gastroscopy and colonoscopy at the same time right?

After the colonoscopy, they found nothing. They then scheduled him for a gastroscopy 2 weeks later. They found nothing too and told him that probably is just gastritis. How can a person suffer from gastritis for a month, every single day? Noob doctor. Really noob. At least do a scan like ultrasound or something when a person complains of pain and the scopes you did shows nothing! That noob doctor then did not fix any appointment for anymore tests or scans. I mean, for his age, it could be gallstones or cholecystitis or maybe stomach ulcer.

Thank God, his wife saw her doctor and seek for help. He seen him a week later and was scheduled for a CT Scan of the abdomen. The results came out a week later and shows a mass in the pancreas. He was scheduled for a pancreas biopsy 2 weeks later. A week after the biopsy, the results came out to be positive. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Again, I googled about pancreatic cancer and I was disheartened when I read that “90% of patients who found out they have pancreas cancer is already too late“. Next is “pancreatic cancer often have poor prognosis, even when it is diagnosed early“. The reason why 90% of them are too late is because pancreas cancer spreads rapidly and is seldom detected at early stage, which leads to cancer death.  The signs and symptoms don’t appear until it is at the advanced stage. And it is impossible to remove surgically when it reached that stage.

He doesn’t smoke or drink. But he has strong family history of cancer. His siblings all died from cancer.

In his state, I think it is still at the early stage because it have not metastasize. Thank God for sharp eyes of the radiologist, the tumour is seen. He was referred to a specialist and I was there during that appointment. The specialist immediately said “not good”. He showed us the CT scan and said it is hidden and is very hard to see. Plus, the tumour is either near or on the hepatic artery, which makes it even more difficult or impossible to remove the tumour. He was scheduled for a surgery few days after the appointment with the specialist. The surgeon must do a surgery to see if the tumour could be resected or not because it cannot be determined from the CT scan alone.

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The doctor drew the outline of the tumour so we can see and understand what he meant.

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See the whitish thing in between the 2 been like drawing? That is the hepatic artery. It supplied blood to the liver. So it is a very important artery to keep the liver “alive”. I am not sure if the tumour is wrapping around the artery, or it is below the artery. We are all not sure unless the doctor do a surgery to see it.

3 days after the appointment, 2 days before the surgery, the doctor rang up and told him that they (the specialists, radiologists) have decided to not operate on him because it is just too risky. The doctor then referred him to the oncologist, who he will be seeing this coming Friday.

He is 72 already, but still very strong and doesn’t look like he is ill. He has lost a lot of weight, but still strong and positive. He is probably one of the strongest person I have ever known.

It is so sudden. Very sudden to know about this. I will do my best to take care of him. Of course I am scared…very scared as this time I don’t see it like how I see in the hospital when I work. But this is my very own.

Please keep my family in prayer that we’ll stay strong. Of course, keep him in prayer. I want to him to see me get married and see his great-grandchildren.

Artisan Roast

Arrived in KL at 12.45am on Saturday. My brother picked me up and told me that he’ll bring us (Pao and Phoebe) for breakfast. He said, “I’ll bring you for breakfast tomorrow. Very POWER one!”

Alright, breakfast it is. But I was wondering if we could all wake up for breakfast because by the time we arrive home is almost 3am. I overnight at Pao’s place and we slept at 4.30am. Set our alarms and woke up at 8.30am. Called my brother to wake him up and we left home at around 9.30am, heading to Ampang Park to pick my sister up.

We took sometime looking for this place, called Artisan Roast in Ampang. Somehow, my brother and Pao forgotten how to get there. But finally, we found that place!

After parking the car, we walked through the pathway to a pondok, where Artisan Roast is.

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The waiter came and told us the main cook is on 2 days leave for Hari Raya Haji, so their famous breakfast set is not available. However, a simple breakfast meal was suggested to us. We agreed because they still have the coffee, where we were looking forward to!

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from left: Fresh Red, Iced Red Lattes

Fresh Red is basically Red Tea and Apple Juice! Tasted like Peel Fresh Apple juice!

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Iced Red Latte

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The tea and coffee are so aromatic, so delicious and even me, who is not a coffee person love this drink! I rate it 4/5!

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Pao was so happy to have her breakfast here, because she LOVES the coffee!

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We were all so tired, but the breakfast made us so excited and happy!

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I ain’t a food critique, I don’t know how to describe food. Like the texture and all.
But I’ll tell you what we makan-ed lah. Basically, our meal consists of omelette with cheese, toast and tomatoes with vinegar. It’s simple but yummy! Man, i’m now craving for the cheese omelette now!

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Our breakfast!

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Nope, Pao wasn’t posing for the camera. She was INDULGING. She was ENJOYING the aroma of the coffee. Look at her. First time I see people so into coffee lor. Cara minum and all. Haha!

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Look at Pao! Still in the world of her Iced Red Latte.

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Plates are all empty! *burppp*

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The coffee beans!

According to what was written on the website:

Freshly roasted, freshly ground coffee made by fresh baristas.

Artisan Roast provides you with the best cup of coffee that we can. We specialise in mighty fine coffee. We also play music and eat food, but mostly we concentrate on the coffee. We source green coffee, roast it and prepare it with a lot of care and attention. And then we serve it to people who can really taste the difference.

Get on the outside of a great coffee from Artisan.

We are the importers of Kees van der Westen espresso machines to Malaysia.

For those who are caffeine-shy, we also import Red Espresso.


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Happy girls and boy after breakfast!

And oh, there was a super cool car parked at the garage of YSB. I don’t know what car is it, but it’s so royal!

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Pao said, “My wedding car!”

The breakfast was not cheap though, but worth the taste, fellowship and fun. Well, we should at least indulge in a good English breakfast once a while though. ^^

Artisan Roast
Yayasan Seni Berdaftar – Artisan Centre and Gallery
333, Persiaran Ritchie
Off Jalan Ritchie
Jalan Ampang
55000 Kuala Lumpur
(Near Gleneagles Hospital)

Opening hours: Weekends: 0800-2000 (yupp! It’s only opened on weekends)

http://artisanroast.com.my/Roasters-of-great-coffee.html

Welcoming Myself Back

Yes, forgive me once again for I have not blogged for almost 3 month. After much people asking me to update my blog, here I am. Not doing my assignments, but blog!

So yes, assignments. For some of you readers who don’t know, I am now back to school. Yes, back to school again! This time pursuing my nursing education in Advance Diploma in Operating Theater Nursing. Just started this course 3 weeks ago and will last for 9 months.

So far, the modules that I’m struggling with is research and psychosocial. Sigh. No matter what, I still need to go through!

Anyway, just some pictures of what you guys missed the past few months of my disappearance!

Ok, so I bought a new camera in March. After so long, I finally own my first DSLR. =D
Bought a Nikon D7000! well, there goes my money for the month. To make me feel better, I bought this as my birthday gift. Haha.

So the picture below was my first attempt.

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This my my friend, Mun Theng. =)

The 2nd week of March was a blast. Company had an annual dinner and it was a privilege to attend because I heard the last annual dinner was many many many years ago!

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Ping Ping and I

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Jasmin, me and Abegail

And of course the next one is my birthday celebration. Was disappointed when my parents told me they were unable to go down to KL to celebrate my birthday. I travelled from Singapore to KL for the weekend for my birthday.

Little did I know, I was surprised to see my parents and lil sister! Thanks to my dearest and sister for the planning. Really made my day even more special. Family brings much happiness.

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Family photo =)

Next was Danee’s birthday that fell on April Fool’s. We celebrated a day earlier at clubs. Well, the night did not end too well when our dear Fang Fang fainted all of a sudden, tried to save her from any injury but too late, a chair fell on her forehead and left a deep cut!

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She was admitted for a night, just for observation and some stitches by plastic surgeon. She’s is fine, just some vasovagal syncope.

I have been going back to KL very often within these few months. The boyfie is there and since I have some time, I would just travel down since it is hard for him to come to Singapore as the exchange rate is so high. He told me this on my birthday, “If I were to go to Singapore to celebrate your birthday, I could not give you as much as I could give like now.” He won’t be able to spend on food and gift as much as in KL.

Singapore why you so expensive? Malaysia, why you so POOR?!

So yea, I went back during one of the weekend in April. And after I arrived, the boyfie asked me to accompany him to an event. Little did I know, the event is the JW Black Circuit Party, where it’s only by invitation! Fuyoh, feel so atas for a while.

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so as usual, his blogger friends. And me, sesat lah.

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my <3

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The event was hot, amazing and wow. Kinda enjoyed myself seeing celebrities, big shots, sexy woman, ugly guys, hot guys, drunkards and inhale cigarette smoke for 3 hours. Aih.

So after enjoying myself, it’s time to go back to school.
School was already tough in the first week. Praying that I can cope til next year!
Classmates are nice and friendly.

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We celebrated Charity’s birthday. My birthday was in March. Even if I wait til next year, I cannot celebrate liao in class. I kinda miss classroom birthday celebration actually. LOL.

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The class of 18 students only.

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Li Wei posing at the final year diploma student’s exhibition project.

And again, I have mentioned just now that I go back to KL often. Just last week, I travelled again to KL during Easter weekend. One of the reason is to visit CHCKL. =)

The boyfie and I was deciding on what to have for dinner on my first night in KL. Then I suggested Souled Out as it was ages ago since we last ate there!

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Due to my braces, I was and is still unable to eat some food. So Carbonara it is. Yummy!

And of course, missing chee cheong fun! The boyfie brought me to have some chee cheong fun at his neighbourhood.

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Food was so so, but I enjoyed the company.

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Another attempt of snapping good picture. I kinda like this picture. Hehe

And oh, how many of you love Pooh bear? I love pooh bear to the max!

And I bought this cute luggage bag!

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Aww, how can you not love it? It’s pricey though but I don’t care! haha.
My friend told me it cost $200 in Singapore! I bought this for about $110 only.

And just today, I went to meet up with my friends to catch up with them. Miss all the girl talks and gossips!

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Geraldine and I

And I have a little message here…

Dear Geraldine…
You have finally found someone who can cherish you and love you, take care of you and protect you. I hope everything will go on well with u and your dearest! You both are sweet and often keep me company!

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Congratulations and all the best to you both! =)