Category Archives: My Walk With God

Worry… Not.

I have just arrived home from my short trip back to KL. It was a random and last minute trip, to satisfy my cravings for food and also simply because I miss my boyfriend. Other than that I also catched up with Kel Li and Nigel. It as a good night!

Anyway, the post is more about myself. So here it goes.

I didn’t get to attend City Harvest on Sunday morning because I didn’t have transport. Usually if my sister have to serve in church on Sunday morning, I will send her to church at 7am, drive home, get ready for church and drive back for service at 10am. However, she had to leave home at 6.30am and had to fetch her friend. So I decided to sleep in and attend Kingdom City at 5pm with Pao, who overnight at my place.

Invited Josh along for service and I must say, there must be a reason why I was willing to spend so much on my flight ticket just this trip back to KL. And there also must be a reason why I felt so tired and wanting to sleep in and feel bad and go to other church that day.

The moment I stepped into Kingdom City at Luther Centre, I felt such strong presence of God. It’s been awhile since I really felt His presence. I was ministered at the point of worship already. Fast forward, Pastor Jemima spoke about a very simple message on “Building a Foundation that Lasts”. It was so simple, but it was as if she was telling me directly, “hey, this is for you!”

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You can listen to the sermon online by clicking here.

Honestly, I am a person who wants to achieve many. I wanna learn so much until sometimes people calls me a superwoman or over ambitious because I am doing so much, just to find achievement. However, when something disappoints me, I start crushing down and being negative. The best person who knows all these is my boyfriend and my sister. I can get really really really negative about everything around me and about myself and start blaming the people who are close to me for everything (i’m sorry….. 🙁 ). Other than that, I worry for every single thing on planet earth. Hence, why I try to work so hard to find enough money so I could live a comfortable life. And with all these negativity, I turned away from God.

After service, Josh told me something random.

You should be like your brother you know…
Why should I?” I asked.
Josh spoke something that made me realized one thing that I have never thought before, “I have not seen your brother getting angry. He is a person who doesn’t worry about anything. I always see him so happy despite so many failures in his life. Yet, he doesn’t give up, he still find ways to work things out.”

I remember arguing with my brother and stated all my thoughts to him. I remember him telling me, “Why worry? God will provide!
“Yes, God will provide! But with your kind of carefree attitude, not doing what you are supposed to do, playing computer games all the time, failing your studies, how do you think it will happened?“, I argued back.
O you little faith“.
The argument went on and I got so annoyed, I told him I was very upset and hurt for not being appreciated. He apologized.

I got more annoyed when I have do to so much and still don’t feel any achievement, but my brother doesn’t have to do anything but still receive so much and I always thought why  #theworldissounfair

But I got to know something this weekend. My sister shared with me something that got me thinking back on that argument I had with my brother some time ago, and that statement Josh said to me. Despite all the failures that made us all upset and embarassed most of the time, he has been SO BLESSED. I don’t wanna reveal anything yet until all is confirmed (no, he is not getting married yet lol). He is gonna be what he said of before and no one could think this will ever happen.

He trusted God.
He cast all his worries to God.
He allowed God to take control of His life.
He is ALWAYS HAPPY despite ALL the scoldings.
He is also famous…. everybody knows Abishua Tan. hahahaha

“Do not limit God”, Josh reminded me after church service.

Basically, the topic throughout my whole weekend is about being positive, being happy and worry less. Then, Josh forwarded me a quote via Whatsapp,

“Science has shown that negative emotions like stress can harm performance and cause negative side effects to the human body. Likewise, positive emotions like joy have huge impact on sleep, performance, health and recovery”.

Very true. I always fell sick, have all kinds of diseases and I visit the doctor so often like I go shopping in shopping malls.

Throughout my trip back, I was reading John Green’s “The Fault In Our Stars”. The character in this book, Hazel and Augustus both have cancer. But from the beginning to the end of the book, Hazel and Augustus lived their life to the fullest despite Hazel having to be on oxygen all the time.

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They never worry. They never blamed anyone for what they are going through. Kept me reflecting about my life. I always think it sucks, but there are other people’s life that is suckier.

A must read. This is probably one of the first time that I finished reading a book in less than a week. #achievementunlocked hahaha. Can’t wait to watch the movie though.

Learning to love and appreciate myself, my life, the people around me, my family, my leaders, my church and my beloved boyfriend. I’m glad my family and my boyfriend has been so patient on me and has yet to give up on the oh so negative daughter/sister/girlfriend.

A short trip but yet a fulfilling, fruitful and amazing one. I have found that peace once again. Learning to cast all my burdens unto Him.

If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. (Matt 6:30-34) The Message.

 

Happy New Year 2012

The brand new year of 2012 is here!

It is also the year of the dragon. My year! I do hope and look forward for a awesomely great year of 2012. While many still think it’s the end of the world in 2012, I pray that it will still not be! Because I have yet to accomplish so much, especially in my walk with my Father and to do what He wants me to do.

May all of you have a blessed year ahead, full of achievements and prosperity and love and joy and peace and fun and everything happy!

This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendship to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love yo complete your life.

– William Barclay-

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Happy New Year 2012!


Taken

Hands that write the story of my life
I trust in You alone
Spirit be my Guide

Dreams that die, they come to life again
My future stands secure
In my Father’s hands

(Pre-Chorus)
I can’t deny, a love so true
Breaks me down till I’ve got nothing to hide
I can’t deny, the hope I feel
Forever undivided, You and i

(Chorus)
Because you gave I’m taken out of misery
Because you died I’m rescued from my sin and shame
Because you love I found my heart to love again
You’ve taken me
And set me free

My Christmas – Happiness

My Christmas was simple.

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Headed to church for Christmas service in the afternoon. Heard many amazing testimonies.
Pastor preached about happiness. There are 3 level of happiness.

1. Happy
2. Happier
3. Happiest

Nah, just kidding.

The first is Pleasure. Don’t deny that money does give you happiness. Shopping does give us happiness. Owning a brand new gadget, car, clothes, bags does give us happiness. But these happiness is only temporary. Agree?

The second one is Passion. We all have passion. Passion for blogging. Passion for designing. Passion for nursing. And these passion gives us happiness to an extend. We love working at what we are passionate for. True? You can put it in your hobbies too. The happiness level is longer than pleasure. When you have passion for something, it gives you pleasure. So it goes like this. I once have lotsa passion in cycling. Now, I don’t cycle anymore. I found a new passion. Which is sleeping. HAHA! That cycling passion has fade off.

And the last one is Purpose. Whatever we do, when we found the purpose in what we wanna do, the happiness is long lasting. Therefore, when we know the purpose, we will have the passion, and it gives us pleasure. So instead of starting off with pleasure, why not start off with having a purpose?

What is your purpose living in this world? We can see many unhappy people around because mainly they do not know the main purpose of life. So true, it kept me to ponder. I have a few people asked before, few years ago. And quite often, their answers will be, “To enjoy lor. Die already cannot enjoy ma.”

Ya lah. Enjoy must be happy right? But why so much unhappiness? The enjoyment is just temporary.

So ask yourself. What is your purpose in life? Is life just how you are living? Or is there more than just that?

Rachel gave one great awesome testimony that had a great link to the levels of happiness. Her story was just like any other person who thinks life is just doing what you wanna do, thinking life was just like how you and me live everyday. Whatever that gives her pleasure still led her to so much sadness and she just didn’t know why despite having so much pleasure in shopping and spending all of her savings off. Finally, she found her purpose in life, which is in God. She found God in her lowest moment of her life when she was not even a believer yet. And now, her life is changed, into a happier person, a person full of dreams and vision, and knowing her purpose in life.

She owns a blogshop, that was then, just an ordinary blogshop with no purpose, no vision. Now, she designs her own label and best of all, have a story behind every design. All are inspiring and I love reading them. Do drop by http://thankgodformyspringfling.tumblr.com/ for her writings and of course her blogshop!

Do watch this video too. It is based on her testimony.

And of course, a visit from the boyfriend during the Christmas holidays. =) He finally met my grandfather and is able to click quite well. =)

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Many people told me that it is too long to be in a relationship with Josh. I am now at the dangerous stage, where breakups can happen anytime. But I don’t feel so lor, neither does Josh. In fact, we felt like we are so close, like we have just started dating each other.  They said 8 years is too long and it is time to get married. They said people will start feeling bored of each other. But, I don’t feel bored of Josh! Cause every time we meet, we discover something new about each other. Hehe. Plus, if get bored, married already ma worst?

And I find it kinda ridiculous to leave a person because I’m bored of him and because it’s been too long. I mean, if no plans of marriage then I understand lah. See he so fat also I want him. You know la girls wan muscular man one. But he loves his muscles so much, he gotta protect it with a huge layer of fat. Aih…..

Anyway…

This Christmas, I learnt about true happiness. Have you found your happiness?