Category Archives: Relationships

Our Long Distance Relationship

Josh and I have been in a relationship for nearly 11 years. We knew each other from the Youth Alive Forum, he is from KL and I am from Kuantan. We started chatting on ICQ and MSN, leading to long conversations over the phone using Ring Ring card and late night calls that irritates my sister so I had to open the window and talked outside the window then to being penpals, to pet siblings and now lovers. We meet each other at camps and whenever I go down to KL, I will sneakily go out to find him. Yes, you got it… my parents didn’t knew about our relationship but they suspected.

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Us in 2007. Lololol. I was once so fat and he was once so skinny. Now it is the opposite! I wish I have the older pictures of us. They are all back in Kuantan in my treasure box.

When I went to KL to study in 2006 for 3 years, we see each other once a week and would go dating every weekend. That’s the only time we were closer to each other. Then in 2009, the long distance relationship started again.

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Few months after I moved to Singapore, he came over to visit. =)

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He came down to Singapore to celebrate my birthday in 2010.

It was tough because after that, we didn’t see each for 6 months. After that, I would try to fly back to KL every month just to see him. I don’t blame him for not finding me in Singapore because the currency rate was (and still is) unacceptably high for him. We would plan trips so we could spend time together from all the other times we couldn’t spend because of the distance.

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Our first overseas trip together to Melbourne, Australia in 2010

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Us in Brisbane, Australia in 2010. Josh won a pair of flight ticket, so we went to Brisbane and Gold Coast that year end.

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During his first CNY in Kuantan

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Our trip to Bangkok, Thailand in 2011

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Our trip to Hoi An, Vietnam in 2012

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At Hard Rock Cafe, Penang. After arriving from Hoi An, we went straight to Penang. This is the only picture of us haha. The rest are either all food of our individual pictures.

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Bangkok, Thailand, 2012 (It wasn’t 2013 yet that time!)

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Hanoi, Vietnam, 2012

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Osaka, Japan, 2013

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Tokyo, Japan, 2013

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Perth, Australia, 2014 As years passes by, Josh started working and have the opportunity to work overseas.

Currently, he is now in Beijing. And, I have been going over to Beijing the past month to visit him.

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Beijing, China, June 2014

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Beijing, China, August 2014.

If you guys notice, in most of our pictures, Josh is always on the right and I am always on the left. lol. All because of angle. Lol. I’m fine at any side, but he is not haha. Not just the angle la actually, it is also because he is used to use his left hand to hold the camera for selfie, and I am used to holding the camera with my right hand when I selfie. That explains why.

Ok back to our LDR topic.

You’re travelling again?! I salute you as you have so many commitments (I only share to some people) but yet you are able to travel.

Josh and I love travelling. And because we see each other once in a while, the money that we don’t spend on each other are spent on our travels. And Josh is the most aunty person ever la for a guy. He is a super budget person so everything from flight to accommodation is cheap. And he will bargain kao kao and I will just pay that dude the money. Though they cheat my money but I kesian them la, they all work so hard yet earn so little already. Of course, I won’t pay USD10 for a slice of pineapple la. But if it is USD1 (RM3+), I will still pay for it instead of bargaining. Well, the only thing Josh is willing to spend on is on FOOD. He paid for the Kobe beef we had in Japan. I though it was unreasonably expensive but after eating it, ok la worth paying that unreasonable price.

I admit, I am broke most of the time. My bank savings is almost empty most of the time and I have debts to settle too. Nowadays, I don’t shop like how I used to. I spend my money mostly on travels, gadgets, courses and trainings. My grandmother will nag me and say that I don’t know how to save money for the future. To be honest, half of my salary is gone into forced savings. I signed up for an insurance savings programme and now that I am a Singapore PR, 20% of my savings is going into my CPF. At least I will be richer when I turn 45 (my insurance plan is til age 45 only) and even richer when I turn 55. Haha. That if I continue staying in Singapore la, right? But I think I better have plan B now, just incase I won’t be residing in Singapore in a few years time. Now that I changed my job, I hope that I am able to save at least 20-30% of my savings once I settle all my debts.

Looking back, God has been blessing us. From free flights to super cheap flight tickets. And despite being broke, I still have enough to bless others (in 2012 and early 2014, I blessed my sisters on our trip to Bangkok and Hanoi and family on our trip to Perth).

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With my sisters in Hanoi, Vietnam, 2012.

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With my family (mom didn’t wanna come along for the trip) in Perth, Australia earlier this year.

 

How often do you see each other?

Before Josh went over to Beijing, we used to go out dating monthly. Usually, it was either I go back to KL or he comes to Singapore. If we don’t go out paktor, we will spend time at home – either at my home in Singapore or KL or at his home in KL and fall asleep on the couch. (Yeah, we love sleeping. That’s the thing we have in common, we love sleeping. We can sleep at literally, anywhere). But now, we could only see each other once every few months. Yes, he still goes back to KL every month as he is just on normal business visa. Though he is back in KL, it doesn’t mean I can go over to visit as I have work commitments too and the timing doesn’t fit to my schedule. And he, is unable to come to Singapore because he wants to spend time with his friends and family and attend events for his blogging stuff.

I was looking at public holidays at both sides (Singapore and China) and learnt that China will have a week of National Day public holiday in October. So happen, Hari Raya Haji falls on one of the days. I asked Josh if he could come over to visit me in Singapore (he has 7 days, I have only 1 day!), but he rather go travel as he doesn’t have much annual leave. So he uses public holidays as an opportunity to travel and relax. Since Beijing is so near to places like Korea, Taiwan and Japan, I understand why he wants to go travel instead of going back to KL or to Singapore for me.

The next time I will be able to see him is during Christmas, as we will be travelling to Taiwan for our year end holiday with his friends. Can’t wait!

 

But he is in China, you not scared he will have another woman ah? You know, it’s China.

I get that all the time when I tell people that Josh is working in China. First reaction is, “That’s it lah. There goes your boyfriend. China woman very flirty one” or “So you’re going Beijing so often to check him out to make sure he doesn’t have any other woman?” Honestly, all those statement are very discouraging. Instead of telling me positive stuff, here goes all the negative ones. I am human, I do think negatively at times too. I still think of all those “what ifs“. In addition, I did had this thought, during his long public holiday break, he wants to go travel instead of visiting me. Who will he be going with? With a girl? or with a guy?

Anyway, I was the one who encouraged him to take up the job in China. He had 2 job offers that time. One is with a company in Malaysia, that also allows him to go to Singapore and work in their office there at anytime if he misses me (which company so sweet will allow such thing, right?!) and the other one is a promising company based in Beijing. I told him to go for the one in Beijing so he could learn to be independent and this job will also help him build up his portfolio. Another reason is so I can take this opportunity to travel to a land I have not been to lol. Beijing is now my 4th home. Haha.

So yeah, despite all those negative remarks on Josh will dump me for a China woman, I’ll just continue to trust him like how I have been trusting him the past 10+ years. That’s basically the key to our long lasting long distance relationship – TRUST.

 

How can you tahan? It’s been so long already!

My standard answer is: “Used to it already.” But now, it is not about getting used to it. Yup, it has been so long already and to be honest, I feel so 辛苦 when I miss him. Its gets harder as I get older. Maybe when we were younger, we rather be alone and enjoy our time with friends. Josh, still enjoys having the freedom without me around – no one to control his lifestyle. But to me, I want comfort from him most of the time. I am not as sociable as much as Josh is. I am a home person but Josh is the opposite.

But this is long distance relationship. We will need to accommodate to each other’s needs. Years ago, I used to get upset that he often goes home during the wee hours, not getting enough sleep or not sleeping at all, sleeping at the wrong hours causing people to be unhappy. He would comply, but after awhile he started doing it again because he said “No life“. So I learnt to give in. I still nag once a while la, but most of the time I will just ask nicely and advise him to sleep earlier. I told him, “OK la, enjoy your bachelor life. After married you can’t enjoy as much already. You have to enjoy with me liao.”

Nowadays, I had to accommodate to his timing unless when I travel all the way to find him, he will try his best to take work off and spend time with me. Sometimes, when I go back to KL and he has events to go to, he will ask me to follow him. Now that he don’t have much annual leaves and only depend on the public holidays there in China, I have to plan my leaves accordingly. And recently, he told me may be transferred to another country, I can’t  plan my/our trips early as I do not know when will he be transferred over and the public holidays there are different again.

So, during the times when we are unable to see each other, we will get busy with our work. I, will sign up for courses like the Make up and Hairstyling Diploma course, pilates, photography and do side jobs like face paintings, photoshoots and make up to get Josh off my mind during the day. For Josh, he will go out with his friends, go for events and blog to keep himself occupied. Before the day ends, I will allow myself to miss him and emo during the night. Hahahaha.

 

So when are you both getting married? It’s time already!

We want to! But not so soon. One of the reason why is because of our distance. I don’t wanna get married and then still living separately like how we have been for the past 11 years. Neither both of us can let go of our jobs due to some reasons. There are also other reasons but they are more personal. But don’t worry, we will get married when the time comes.

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But….you know what? I just hope this long distance relationship thing will end. It is getting tougher and tougher to cope each day. Sudah tak boleh tahan liao.. But anyway, “it is what it is” (Dr MK, 2012).

I am thankful you all who have been supporting us all the way. It mean a lot to us. =)

 

P/s: Please mind my grammar. The more I go through, the more I will add on words instead of checking my grammar. Heh.

Worry… Not.

I have just arrived home from my short trip back to KL. It was a random and last minute trip, to satisfy my cravings for food and also simply because I miss my boyfriend. Other than that I also catched up with Kel Li and Nigel. It as a good night!

Anyway, the post is more about myself. So here it goes.

I didn’t get to attend City Harvest on Sunday morning because I didn’t have transport. Usually if my sister have to serve in church on Sunday morning, I will send her to church at 7am, drive home, get ready for church and drive back for service at 10am. However, she had to leave home at 6.30am and had to fetch her friend. So I decided to sleep in and attend Kingdom City at 5pm with Pao, who overnight at my place.

Invited Josh along for service and I must say, there must be a reason why I was willing to spend so much on my flight ticket just this trip back to KL. And there also must be a reason why I felt so tired and wanting to sleep in and feel bad and go to other church that day.

The moment I stepped into Kingdom City at Luther Centre, I felt such strong presence of God. It’s been awhile since I really felt His presence. I was ministered at the point of worship already. Fast forward, Pastor Jemima spoke about a very simple message on “Building a Foundation that Lasts”. It was so simple, but it was as if she was telling me directly, “hey, this is for you!”

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You can listen to the sermon online by clicking here.

Honestly, I am a person who wants to achieve many. I wanna learn so much until sometimes people calls me a superwoman or over ambitious because I am doing so much, just to find achievement. However, when something disappoints me, I start crushing down and being negative. The best person who knows all these is my boyfriend and my sister. I can get really really really negative about everything around me and about myself and start blaming the people who are close to me for everything (i’m sorry….. 🙁 ). Other than that, I worry for every single thing on planet earth. Hence, why I try to work so hard to find enough money so I could live a comfortable life. And with all these negativity, I turned away from God.

After service, Josh told me something random.

You should be like your brother you know…
Why should I?” I asked.
Josh spoke something that made me realized one thing that I have never thought before, “I have not seen your brother getting angry. He is a person who doesn’t worry about anything. I always see him so happy despite so many failures in his life. Yet, he doesn’t give up, he still find ways to work things out.”

I remember arguing with my brother and stated all my thoughts to him. I remember him telling me, “Why worry? God will provide!
“Yes, God will provide! But with your kind of carefree attitude, not doing what you are supposed to do, playing computer games all the time, failing your studies, how do you think it will happened?“, I argued back.
O you little faith“.
The argument went on and I got so annoyed, I told him I was very upset and hurt for not being appreciated. He apologized.

I got more annoyed when I have do to so much and still don’t feel any achievement, but my brother doesn’t have to do anything but still receive so much and I always thought why  #theworldissounfair

But I got to know something this weekend. My sister shared with me something that got me thinking back on that argument I had with my brother some time ago, and that statement Josh said to me. Despite all the failures that made us all upset and embarassed most of the time, he has been SO BLESSED. I don’t wanna reveal anything yet until all is confirmed (no, he is not getting married yet lol). He is gonna be what he said of before and no one could think this will ever happen.

He trusted God.
He cast all his worries to God.
He allowed God to take control of His life.
He is ALWAYS HAPPY despite ALL the scoldings.
He is also famous…. everybody knows Abishua Tan. hahahaha

“Do not limit God”, Josh reminded me after church service.

Basically, the topic throughout my whole weekend is about being positive, being happy and worry less. Then, Josh forwarded me a quote via Whatsapp,

“Science has shown that negative emotions like stress can harm performance and cause negative side effects to the human body. Likewise, positive emotions like joy have huge impact on sleep, performance, health and recovery”.

Very true. I always fell sick, have all kinds of diseases and I visit the doctor so often like I go shopping in shopping malls.

Throughout my trip back, I was reading John Green’s “The Fault In Our Stars”. The character in this book, Hazel and Augustus both have cancer. But from the beginning to the end of the book, Hazel and Augustus lived their life to the fullest despite Hazel having to be on oxygen all the time.

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They never worry. They never blamed anyone for what they are going through. Kept me reflecting about my life. I always think it sucks, but there are other people’s life that is suckier.

A must read. This is probably one of the first time that I finished reading a book in less than a week. #achievementunlocked hahaha. Can’t wait to watch the movie though.

Learning to love and appreciate myself, my life, the people around me, my family, my leaders, my church and my beloved boyfriend. I’m glad my family and my boyfriend has been so patient on me and has yet to give up on the oh so negative daughter/sister/girlfriend.

A short trip but yet a fulfilling, fruitful and amazing one. I have found that peace once again. Learning to cast all my burdens unto Him.

If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. (Matt 6:30-34) The Message.

 

My Christmas – Happiness

My Christmas was simple.

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Headed to church for Christmas service in the afternoon. Heard many amazing testimonies.
Pastor preached about happiness. There are 3 level of happiness.

1. Happy
2. Happier
3. Happiest

Nah, just kidding.

The first is Pleasure. Don’t deny that money does give you happiness. Shopping does give us happiness. Owning a brand new gadget, car, clothes, bags does give us happiness. But these happiness is only temporary. Agree?

The second one is Passion. We all have passion. Passion for blogging. Passion for designing. Passion for nursing. And these passion gives us happiness to an extend. We love working at what we are passionate for. True? You can put it in your hobbies too. The happiness level is longer than pleasure. When you have passion for something, it gives you pleasure. So it goes like this. I once have lotsa passion in cycling. Now, I don’t cycle anymore. I found a new passion. Which is sleeping. HAHA! That cycling passion has fade off.

And the last one is Purpose. Whatever we do, when we found the purpose in what we wanna do, the happiness is long lasting. Therefore, when we know the purpose, we will have the passion, and it gives us pleasure. So instead of starting off with pleasure, why not start off with having a purpose?

What is your purpose living in this world? We can see many unhappy people around because mainly they do not know the main purpose of life. So true, it kept me to ponder. I have a few people asked before, few years ago. And quite often, their answers will be, “To enjoy lor. Die already cannot enjoy ma.”

Ya lah. Enjoy must be happy right? But why so much unhappiness? The enjoyment is just temporary.

So ask yourself. What is your purpose in life? Is life just how you are living? Or is there more than just that?

Rachel gave one great awesome testimony that had a great link to the levels of happiness. Her story was just like any other person who thinks life is just doing what you wanna do, thinking life was just like how you and me live everyday. Whatever that gives her pleasure still led her to so much sadness and she just didn’t know why despite having so much pleasure in shopping and spending all of her savings off. Finally, she found her purpose in life, which is in God. She found God in her lowest moment of her life when she was not even a believer yet. And now, her life is changed, into a happier person, a person full of dreams and vision, and knowing her purpose in life.

She owns a blogshop, that was then, just an ordinary blogshop with no purpose, no vision. Now, she designs her own label and best of all, have a story behind every design. All are inspiring and I love reading them. Do drop by http://thankgodformyspringfling.tumblr.com/ for her writings and of course her blogshop!

Do watch this video too. It is based on her testimony.

And of course, a visit from the boyfriend during the Christmas holidays. =) He finally met my grandfather and is able to click quite well. =)

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Many people told me that it is too long to be in a relationship with Josh. I am now at the dangerous stage, where breakups can happen anytime. But I don’t feel so lor, neither does Josh. In fact, we felt like we are so close, like we have just started dating each other.  They said 8 years is too long and it is time to get married. They said people will start feeling bored of each other. But, I don’t feel bored of Josh! Cause every time we meet, we discover something new about each other. Hehe. Plus, if get bored, married already ma worst?

And I find it kinda ridiculous to leave a person because I’m bored of him and because it’s been too long. I mean, if no plans of marriage then I understand lah. See he so fat also I want him. You know la girls wan muscular man one. But he loves his muscles so much, he gotta protect it with a huge layer of fat. Aih…..

Anyway…

This Christmas, I learnt about true happiness. Have you found your happiness?

His 25th, Our 8th

Other than being back for NAPBAS 2011 last weekend, I was back to celebrate the bf’s birthday and also our 8th year of relationship together. The original plan was that he was supposed to come down to Singapore instead of me going back to KL (because I have been traveling back to KL too often this year). But the plan changed when he persuaded me to be his partner to NAPBAS 2011. He said, if I can’t go, he need to find another date. And my friends were telling me to go because not everyone gets to go and they had to do a blog post in order to win passes to the NAPBAS. So I’m the lucky one aye?

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Whee!

Anyway, last Saturday, we spent the whole day together. I insisted of going to church on Saturday and managed to drag him along. It was a great day to spend some time together walking in shopping malls, makan, and see smiles on each other’s face. We had to celebrate a day earlier because I had to fly back the very next day to Singapore.

There’s one thing that I am still in denial is that the bf bought me something. Something every girl would dream to own.

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Honestly, it is still kept nicely wrapped in their cloth bag and in the gift box. Hehe. Will definitely use it soon!
Thank you so much….!!

And time after time, he brings out a gift for me. I did not expect SO MANY gifts from him because it’s just our anniversary.

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The first surprise. Piglet all the way from Tokyo Disneyland! <3

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And then came more Pooh bears.

Here’s the whole collection of soft toys + pillows (excluding my favourite chao chao pillow) given by the bf.

I feel so kanasai because I only prepared ONE gift for him. Birthday + anniversary gift. T___T

Ya lah….don’t look at the value, people look at the heart…Ada hati dah boleh. But…..I still feel bad ma… =(

Anyway, at night, we went over to Las Vagas at Mont Kiara for dinner. Was pretty disappointed with the venue and the food, but well….at least I ended with Baskin Robbins ice cream then after. =D

So, I gave him his gift. His first response was, “Why you never wrap one?

And my answer was, “Covered with white box already ma. Save paper can?

And so, he opened the gift up…..

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…..and I think he was almost in tears. LOLOL

He always wanted a watch. Every time I asked him what he wants, his reply will always be ‘a watch’. He has been waiting for 3 years for a watch from me but every year I believe he must be disappointed when he sees no watch. Haha. He also told me that he almost buy himself a watch because he gave up waiting.

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Bought this Kenneth Cole watch a month before his birthday at Tangs during their 12% rebate day. HAHA! At least I get some rebate in my Tangs card. =P Had a hard time choosing watches because there were SO MANY of them. Thank God I had Danee with me to help me out. Or else I’ll spend the whole day there choosing one.

On the actual day, which was a Sunday, we had lunch at Marche, The Curve. I think Marche in Singapore is better. ANYWAY…..
The bf was looking for a new pair of jeans. I don’t know is it because he is growing bigger or his jeans are getting looser.

And because I felt SO BAD for just giving him ONE gift while I had SO MANY, I decided to buy him one. Calvin Klein Jeans store was just in front of us and they were having sales. So we popped by inside and have a look. He tried it on and liked it very much as the cutting fits him very well. But the price is like mad expensive.

Well, I believe in owning a good pair of jeans because I bought one from Topshop and it is still so fitting on me! I used to buy new pair of jeans every year because they get very loose, not because I lost weight, but the quality of the jeans were bad, it gets bigger after every wash. Instead of a skinny, it will look like a straight cut jeans.

So, I bought him this jeans.

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Yes, this pair of jeans waist line is longer than my shoulder. Oh how much my bf has grown….sideways…Thats the purpose of why this picture was taken. Bwaahahaha.

(I need one too… T___T. If you realize, I only have one pair…which is my favourite grey Topshop Jamie skinny jeans. Nevermind, I shall stay faithful for a while more to this jeans!)

It was one of the happiest weekend of the year. Because we are on long distance relationship for many many years already, this feeling of joy and happiness is as if we have just started dating. Haha. And I’m looking forward for more of such days.

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I love you.

Valentine’s Day 2011

It was quite a surprise to have him all the way down here to spend the V-day with me.

The only thing that was planned was his trip down. Flowers, dinner and night out was all random. Quite fun I would say.

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Because all that matters is just having him around.

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And although it was just one rose, I am still a very happy girl that night.
Despite being together for 7 years+, this is only our 3rd V-day celebration together due to Long Distance Relationship (LDR).

We can pull it through!